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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Puppy Herder's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, February 10th, 2008
10:22 pm
Well Friday sucked! The blender broke so no smoothies for a while.

Raisin toast for breakfast, and then I sort of skipped lunch. We went to the "City Cafe" in Trumann for dinner with Bob's mom, and I had chicken and dressing, salad, sweet potatoes, fried squash, peach cobbler for dessert, and a diet coke to drink. Our smoothie that night was banana, carambola and plum since we were out of peaches.

Our guts were all torn up from eating something terrible at the restaurant Thursday, so I had raisin bread for breakfast AND lunch. Dinner was turkey fajitas and rice, with chips, guacamole, cheese, sour cream, etc. Our blender-breaking smoothie was banana-strawberry-plum.

I had toast for breakfast again, and then I for dinner I made turkey meatloaf with layered salad and Bob made some rice.

Today: I slept in way too late so I just had grits for lunch, and then we went out to eat AGAIN for dinner - The "Especial Jalisco" at La Cabana, which consisted of a chicken enchilada and chicken burrito with rice and beans.
Wednesday, February 6th, 2008
11:24 pm
Breakfast: Turkey spam and fresh spinach all fried up together (better than it sounds, I promise)
Lunch: Leftover Chili!
Dinner: I guess the smoothie I had will have to count as dinner! Bob worked late so I had lunch late and wasn't dinner-hungry. Same smoothie as yesterday - star fruit, peach and banana. Soooo good.
Tuesday, February 5th, 2008
11:28 pm
What a long fucking day. Primaries, tornadoes, etc. Okay, let me try to remember what I ate...

Breakfast: Coffee and (surprise!) a raisin bar.
Lunch: I guess the little bit of beef jerky I ate in my car counts as lunch! And a diet pepsi, too.
Dinner: Turkey kielbasa chili and the rest of the cornbread muffins.

And of course my semi-nightly smoothie, which I'm drinking right now - starfruit, peach and banana.
Monday, February 4th, 2008
9:37 pm
Lunch was the rest of the leftover layered salad. I had a nutrigrain bar at work, and then Bob and I went out for Mexican food for dinner. I had the "Burritos Deluxe" if I remember right, one chicken and one beef burrito with guacamole, sour cream and salad. And a diet coke to drink!
7:06 am
Last night's smoothie: Apple, pear and peach. Super sweet.

This morning so far: cornbread, raisin bar, coffee. So lazy.
Sunday, February 3rd, 2008
6:03 pm
Okay, just got back from work, let me try to remember...

Breakfast: An oatmeal raisin bar and cornbread muffin because I didn't feel like preparing anything. Also coffee of course.

Lunch: Two eggs sunny side up, two and a half slices of turkey bacon, two slices of toast, a helping of leftover layered salad, and then another raisin bar an hour later before I went back to work.

"Dinner" was just some leftover rice and cornbread, since I had such a big lunch.
Saturday, February 2nd, 2008
9:31 pm
I'm downing an apple-pear-kiwi smoothie right now, and I forgot to mention that last night we had a pineapple-banana-kiwi smoothie before bed.

Nom nom nom!
6:34 pm
Just had dinner at Lazzari's, a local Italian restaurant. Caesar salad, zucchini chips, bread, Chicken Cannelloni and a diet coke.

Oink oink oink!
3:14 pm
Breakfast: Another bowl of oatmeal with honey, two slices of raisin bread, and more coffee.

Lunch was pretty light - a raisin bar and a cornbread muffin. And more coffee!
Friday, February 1st, 2008
9:45 pm
At work I had a strawberry yogurt flavored nutrigrain bar.

When I got home, Bob and I had dinner - oven-roasted chicken (leg quarters), rice and a layered salad made of spinach, romaine, tomato, bacon bits, cheddar, parmesan and fat-free ranch dressing.
9:53 am
A bowl of oatmeal with some honey in it to sweeten it! Also some coffee!
12:38 am

Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
4:33 pm
Bob is a manager again!

You can probably expect updates about this on his myspace, I guess. I am not sure what else to say! We are all pretty excited except the dog, who is pissed because he wants to go outside to pee right now so bye!

Current Mood: giddy
Wednesday, September 20th, 2006
6:51 pm
My job, and life as we know it, would be easier...
...if dogs understood a few simple things:

1. If you sit still, it will be over faster.
          Look, giving you guys baths isn't easy or fun for me, either, but it's something we must both suffer through occasionally.  Thrashing around won't help anything, and it's more likely to get lather and water accidentally splashed into your eyes, which I know just makes things worse.  Furthermore, I know our human water magic must be mystifying to you, but you need to figure out that, if I'm wetting your fur down with my magic limitless water device, shaking yourself every two seconds isn't going to stop the onslaught of water, and it's not going to actually dry you at all.  It's just going to get me drenched, and prolong the traumatic bathing process for you.  Just sit still and the whole ordeal will be over soon.  Plus, when we get to the lathering part, you'll get an all-over shampoo-massage.  Do you know how rarely PEOPLE get to enjoy those?

          This rule applies to nail trimming as well.  I know you dogs tend to be neurotic about people touching your feet, much less attacking them with strange implements, but the kicking and struggling just makes it more likely that we'll cut the quick, causing you to bleed, and causing us to feel like the worst people in the universe.

2. Strangling yourself on the end of the leash will NOT make us walk any faster.
It does, however, make us look and feel like dog-abusing monsters.  You know what, scratch this rule.  I'm pretty sure the dogs know what they're doing here.

3. Learn the concept of "consequences."
          We humans can tell right away when you've done something wrong.  Yes, we're largely ignorant to doggy means of communication, but when we see tucked tails, folded ears and cowering going on, we know that you've done a Very Bad Thing.  Why is it that you hellions know when you've done something terrible, but you don't ever seem to develop the foresight to realize that you shouldn't do it in the first place?

Now, finally -
4. For the most part, we humans are smarter than you are.
You seem to have figured out that our senses aren't as sharp as yours, and you've decided we must be morons because we give you shelter and food for free.  Well, you're not entirely right.  If  you are going to do a Very Bad Thing right in front of us, doing it in slow steps won't fool us.  We can see you inching towards our food on your belly, and we can see you delicately trying to sneak our undergarments out of the hamper.  We may be morons, but we're not THAT stupid.  Furthermore, if we hear a crashing sound, and then the sound of paws running from the scene, we're not going to believe that you were laying in your bed, out of breath, minding your own business the whole time.  No matter how much you wag your tail.

          And, last but not least - when you turn around and stare at your rear end, then lift your tail, sniff your butt  and leave the room, you're not fooling anybody.  I know we usually blame you anyway, but jeez!  At least stay in here and ride out the miasma with everyone else.

Honestly, I really do think dogs are one of the best things to happen to the human species, but sheesh!  In the thousands of years they've been our companions you'd think they'd have more things figured out.

Oh, and some constancy would be nice, too.  These mutts act like my crotch is public property, but when I have to lather up the fur around their butts and thighs they usually give me this ashamed "oh god, not the bikini area" look.  It makes me feel like a pervert.
Thursday, August 17th, 2006
10:54 am
Okay, people, Bob and I are going to Oklahoma for the weekend to visit some buddies and get a much-needed break from work.

While I'm gone, I'll have a guest elljay-updater, Stranger_Dan! I'd link to his elljay but I don't know the shortcuts for that because I'm retarded. Anyway, I'll post again monday! In the meantime enjoy Stranger Dan's Danger Rants.
Sunday, August 6th, 2006
10:26 pm
Maybe I should start writing about things that still shock me even though I've been an Arkansan for a couple years now.

Things like "Vacation Bible School." I saw "VBS" on a church sign once and Bob explained it to me.




No combination of any TWO of those words is ever appropriate, let alone all three.
Thursday, July 27th, 2006
8:08 pm
False Alarm!
Thank god! I asked the vet at work to look at him, and it's not a spiderbite. It turns out he either chewed on his foot and made it raw, or stepped on something, and the broken skin was just too inviting to the horrible staph germs that are all around our grody apartment building. So they cleaned and drained his foot and he's on puppy antibiotics now, so hopefully the infection will clear up soon.

So, while he's still not feeling great, it's not as bad as we thought! (And it was cheaper to fix, too, thank god)
8:29 am
For the love of Pete...
For those of you who don't already know, Bob and I have a dog now! His name's Vinnie and even though he's almost full-grown, he's still a puppy.

Bob wrote about him here if you don't know the Supermutt origin story: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=61613638&blogID=144814937&MyToken=f11f8eb6-7d74-4b25-96d5-84b5b627db62

Anyway, I took him into work today to get his paw looked at. It was swollen and red a while back, and at first I thought it was a "hot spot" or a flea bite that he'd been chewing on, so I just gave him a bath, washed his paw with some medicated shampoo, and kept an eye on it. Yesterday it looked like the skin was starting to slough off in spots, so we think he's probably been bitten by a brown recluse, or possibly a hobo spider.

I've seen the effects of these kinds of bites on people, but I don't know if there's any difference in the way they affect dogs. I can't help but think of the palm-sized wound Jeff Rowland had and wonder if they'll have to take off some of Vinnie's toes, or a chunk of his foot.

We've never found anything besides house spiders, wolf spiders and little jumping spiders around here, so I'm not sure if he got bit here or while he was at the kennel. It's like Bob said last night - hasn't enough happened to this poor dog? I hope he doesn't end up with a gimp foot to go with his gimp eye.
Monday, July 10th, 2006
2:06 pm
30 animals euthanized in 2 days
I can't say it enough. Spay and neuter your pets, folks.

This is at a vet's office, too.

I can't imagine what it's like to work at the Humane Society or a pound.
Friday, June 16th, 2006
7:46 pm
Have I mentioned yet that I got a new job?
I got the kennel helper job! It's... different! 90% of it is work I've done before, but there's still a lot of stuff to learn and get used to. Like the other day, when they had to put down a bunch of strays.

People, please. Listen to Bob Barker and Betty White and EVERY SENSIBLE PERSON ON EARTH. SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR DOGS AND CATS.

I don't understand why people don't get their pets fixed. Clearly they like animals enough to want one of their own as a pet, right? So why leave the chance that they might either father or give birth to a litter of puppies that someone else is inevitably going to have to kill? Americans tend to look down on countries that eat dogs and cats, but at least they're not wasting lives outright. Laborador retrievers are one of the sweetest, smartest breeds out there, but I can't begin to imagine how many are being put to sleep in Jonesboro because ignorant yokels don't feel like having their duck-hunting dog's nuts cut off. Why are these people so lazy and careless? If you can afford to feed and house a dog, you can afford to have it fixed. I wish they'd televise what happens to the dogs that don't get placed into homes, to drill it into people's heads.

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